Idiot
by Mass Effecting Your Pants
Summary: Naruto x Sasuke, Romance, Humour. Rated for sexytime and language. "Well, you know," Sasuke began moving his hands to say what he couldn't, saw the motions he was making and stilled them immediately. "Naruto on his back and...I, well, on top. Him. You know..?"


_Hmm it's been a while since I've updated. As to why I fell off the face of the earth...well there were/are a number of reasons: my grandma had surgery and I lived with her for over a month while she recuperated. I'm a lovely granddaughter, yes I know, omg she has no internets D': Then I got an email from Blizzard letting me know I had a week until my WoW gamecard expired...so I used that week wisely since I won't renew for a while ;D THEN my partner was in hospital for a week, and I've been looking after him since he's been home. NOW I am unemployed and have been looking for a job. THEN my dog passed away )': He had a long 14 years and I'm gonna miss him._

_Yes, it been all fun and games so fanfiction wasn't high on the list as you can imagine. Even now I don't come with an update for Lost in Kishimoto, but a one-shot I wrote in snippets of time over the past two months._

_So this fic is to let you know that I'm not dead, just busy and slightly overwhelmed by real life :P But enough of my life, on to the fic!_

_Initially Sasu x Naru...eventually Naru x Sasu ;D_

_

* * *

**Idiot**_

Six months into dating Uzumaki Naruto, Sasuke realised their sexlife was shit.

Well, not shit _exactly_, Sasuke allowed. Just...really, really no where near as good as he was expecting.

At all.

"Sasuke? Are you listening?"

"Mmm."

The so-called 'honeymoon' stage was well and truly over. In all honesty, Sasuke hadn't actually imagined that sex nearly every night of the week would last, but it was pretty fucking awesome. Though now it was limited to once a week or so - a far cry from the first few months of their relationship where it was horrendously _difficult_ to keep hands, tongues and other body parts to themselves.

"My medic-nin exam is next week and I really need to practice, mainly diagnosing physical symptoms. It's what I struggle with the most, I admit. All you'd have to do is..."

"Mmm."

It wasn't that Sasuke didn't find Naruto attractive. Naruto was fucking hot with his stupid obnoxiously yellow hair and bright eyes a shade of blue Sasuke wondered if there was even a name for and his sun-kissed skin that looked edible when he was shining with sweat and those stomach muscles that twitched involuntarily when Uchiha's mouth wandered and the way he sounded when his whole body was shaking with pleasure and how he would moan Sasuke's name barely louder than a whisper and-

Okay, Sasuke thought, shifting a little. It was quite clear that his desire for the idiot was still ragingly apparent.

"...Hey, are you feeling okay? You're a bit flushed."

"Mmm."

And he wasn't stupid enough to believe it was merely lust. Sasuke knew Naruto was important to him. Important like goddamn oxygen, not that he had really told Uzumaki that. Well, he hadn't said anything about their relationship actually. It had all sort of just happened, and it was obvious that Sasuke liked the idiot a _little_ bit more than best friends _generally_ liked each other.

"...Oh my god, Sasuke, forget the last six years. I really am in love with you and want to get married and have little Uchiha babies."

"Mmm."

It was obvious to Uchiha in any case, so he figured it must be apparent to Naruto too...though now that he considered it, that seemed a rather overestimation on Naruto's ability to read between the lines.

"...Why wait? Let's get naked right here in the jounin lounge and make wild passionate love to consummate our everlasting desire for each other."

"Mmm."

Maybe...maybe Naruto didn't like Sasuke as much as he liked him. He stilled at the thought, his bought onigiri halfway to his mouth. The thought made Sasuke's chest tighten painfully.

Was Naruto not interested any more?

"...We can ask Lee to join and have a- god, Sasuke! Hello! This is ridiculous."

"Mmm."

Maybe Naruto was bored. The sex they had was good but hardly earth-shattering. Or _fuck_, maybe Naruto wasn't interested in _him_ any more fullstop.

Sasuke traced a finger over the thin scar that ran from the corner of his right eye to disappear under his jaw, a memento of where a kunai had caught him during a mission a month ago. It was barely visible, hardly disfiguring, but maybe it was _enough_? And Sasuke wasn't exactly built like Naruto. He had a physique for strength and power while Sasuke was made for speed and agility. Uchiha certainly wasn't a waif or lacking in muscle, but his physique was comparable to Sakura's more than most other male nin. Perhaps Uzumaki was more interested in an actual female rather than Sasuke who just had hips a little narrower than the male norm.

The brief thought about Sakura reminded him that he was, in fact, having lunch with her right this very moment. He glanced up at her as he continued to eat his riceball, hoping his lapse in to thought hadn't been too obvious.

"Oh, you're back I see," she arched a teasing brow at him before frowning. "What's bothering you enough to space you out like that?"

Sasuke shook his head. "No, nothing. It's...fine."

"_Riiiiiight_."

Sasuke sent his teammate a halfhearted glare before finishing his lunch. There was no way he was going to talk about his concerns with Sakura. Hell, he could barely make sense of them in his own mind let alone attempt to explain to someone else that he was terrified his and Naruto's relationship was coming to an end.

Sasuke froze.

He had successfully just scared the absolute shit out of himself.

"Hey," Sakura said softly, her hand touching his resting on the table lightly. "What's wrong?"

Sasuke didn't want to talk about this. Not now, not _ever _and certainly not in a semi-public place like the jounin lounge. But she was looking at him like that and now that the thought of losing Naruto had been raised, it had a firm hold on Sasuke's breath.

"I think, maybe..." he wasn't really sure what to say. "Is sex supposed to be better?"

And dimly thought probably _anything_ but _that_.

Sakura blushed deeply and brushed her uniform free of invisible dirt and dust. Sasuke sat and waited, considering there wasn't anything he could do to _un-say_ such a personal glimpse in to his life.

Eventually Sakura coughed quietly before finally meeting her teammate's eyes once more. "What exactly is your concern? Obviously I'm not a man, but I can certainly advise you from a medic's perspective."

Naruto was Sasuke's first, and only as it were, but didn't feel like providing Sakura with _that_ much information. Thus he had never had sex with a woman, but that was hardly an issue as it was relatively straightforward: _this_ went _there._ It was a little more complicated when it came to two men and, despite not really knowing anything but the very basics, Sasuke figured it was safe to assume the '_this_ went _there_' was still applied, though in a slightly different way.

And he and Naruto had managed quite well.

But sometimes Sasuke felt like it was just sex. It was a little mortifying to consider it but he felt like being with Naruto so intimately should be _more_. But fuck, he couldn't say that _aloud_.

"I just expected to feel," he said, voice low from embarrassment and for privacy, quickly adding, "better. Expected it to feel better."

Sakura was looking at him closely, eyes intelligent. She didn't reply for a moment, and Sasuke was rather alarmed that this conversation was happening _at all_.

She cleared her throat slightly. "Well perhaps the, uhm, position isn't effective for you."

When Sakura didn't say anymore he cocked a brow at her. "Meaning?"

His teammate grimaced and he certainly echoed the sentiment as he realised this was leading toward a birds and the bees type talk.

"If the position you usually, uh, use isn't satisfying then you might want to consider a different position," Sakura began slowly and with minimal flushed fidgeting.

Sasuke _knew_ she was going to ask and felt his face heat anyway. "What- uh, how do you-"

He cut in before she could make this more uncomfortable than it already was. "On his back."

His teammate stared at him and Sasuke realised well shit, there are probably a _bazillion_ sexual positions _that_ could describe and _ugh_, he'd have to be more _specific_.

"Well, you know," he began moving his hands to say what he couldn't, saw the motions he was making and stilled them immediately. "Naruto on his back and...I, well, on top. Him. You know..?"

Sakura was still staring at him so he leaned forward over the table, his face inches from her nose.

"_God_, Sakura!" he hissed, almost desperately. "Please don't ask me anything else!"

She let out a short laugh then as he settled back in his seat, the red in both their faces fading as they mutually decided this couldn't get much more awkward.

"Ah, well that's not the best position for, uh, stimulating, well, _you know_," Sakura gestured very vaguely but Sasuke understood. "You'd likely find it more pleasurable if _you_ were on your back."

Sasuke had flushed far too much through their conversation to do so again, and so merely stared at Sakura, more than a little confused.

She seemed to take that as a signal to explain further.

"Well, the position you described would have been good at the beginning of your relationship so you could control, ah, Naruto's pace and deepness until you adjusted," his teammate was leaning forward now, her medic-nin - or fangirl - instincts taking over. "But I think you'll find the angle will be more satisfying if you were-"

"Naruto's?!" Sasuke suddenly burst out, his eyes widening as he realised he and Sakura may have been reading the same book, but they were on _totally_ different pages. "Naruto's not-"

"I'm the- " he tried again and still couldn't _say_ it but Sakura was leaning as far back in her seat as she could, her eyes even wider than her teammate's.

"_You _are...? _All _the time?"

Sasuke felt mildly insulted when she said it like that. His expression must've told everything however since Sakura settled in her seat once more and proceeded to stare at him intensely.

He didn't like it.

"What?" he scowled, anger and imagined humiliation at just the _thought_ of it. "You think I would put myself in such a position? I wouldn't _demean_-"

He realised what he was saying about the same time Sakura's eyes hardened.

"_Demeaning_?" she echoed, voice dangerously low and reminding Sasuke that hey, she was capable of kicking his ass now. "I suppose you think it's submissive and effeminate and _fuck you_, Sasuke. Is _that_ what you think of Naruto? You _enjoy_ thinking that's how he might be feeling about it?"

"Of course not!" he almost yelled back, well aware that Naruto was the total opposite.

He wasn't sure how to feel. He didn't think it cheapened Naruto in the slightest, and yet when he imagined himself in the same position Sasuke balked. Hell, he remembered the very first time they had sex. When the moment of decision came, Naruto had looked at him - all trust and grinning - and Sasuke had flat-out said no before anything was asked or suggested. He knew Naruto had been disappointed, not necessarily in the roles which just stuck, but Sasuke's attitude.

The sex had been amazing at the time regardless, for the both of them.

And yet Sasuke had always felt something was off. Something was not quite what it could be. That it could be _better_.

Forced by Sakura and the real or imagined fear of losing Naruto, he wondered if the answer was as glaringly obvious as it appeared.

Sakura seemed to sense his changed mood.

"There's nothing wrong with bottoming," she said, arms crossed over the table between them. "You should only do what ever you're comfortable with, but you aren't giving yourself or Naruto the chance to really decide. It involves a lot of trust. Naruto will know that already, obviously, and he'll appreciate it even if you only allow it the once."

"Hell, Sasuke," she continued with a slight grin, saying the words that were already bouncing around the walls of his mind, "maybe that's what could be _better_."

NxS - NxS - NxS - NxS - NxS - NxS - NxS - NxS

"Hey, Sasuke! I'm home!"

Sasuke half smiled at the greeting that was always yelled when Naruto returned from a mission. He remained silent and sprawled on their sofa, a book resting on his chest mostly forgotten as Naruto kicked off his sandals in the hall and poked his head around the entryway to smile at Sasuke.

"Hey, idiot," he managed at that sunny boyish grin. "Go have a shower. I bet you reek."

Naruto squinted his face up in pretend anger and huffed to the bathroom, used to Sasuke's preoccupation with hygiene.

It wasn't until he heard the shower start running did Sasuke sit up, nervously excited about what he planned to set in motion. Now that Naruto was home and here, however, he was feeling impatient...and wasn't particularly ready to wait for Naruto to finish washing.

As well a nice image of a wet and naked Naruto was considerable motivation.

Suppressing his chakra and easing the bathroom door open quietly, Sasuke was already heady with anticipation. It was as if they were about to do it for the first time all over again.

He supposed, in a way, there were.

Sasuke slipped out of his clothes and dropped them with Naruto's, smirking slightly at the idiot's off-key humming as he slid the shower curtain open.

Naruto spun immediately. "Sas-huuh!"

Sasuke pressed up against hot wet muscled tan, forcing Naruto against the tiled wall and sliding his mouth across any skin it met. He let his hands wander where ever the hell they wanted, which tended to be anywhere on Naruto, pleased at the immediate response he received. Naruto pulled him flush against his chest with a soft whisper of his name, a caress across his skin and much _lower_.

But he wanted Naruto to know that it was going to be _different_ this time, though there was no sense in being subtle when it concerned Uzumaki.

So he pulled Naruto away from the wet tiles, pale skin sliding deliciously against tan as he jumped a little to wrap his thighs around his lover's hips.

The position was awkward and, Sasuke considered in hindsight, likely a little dangerous out of spontaneity and the soapy water. But Naruto was a ninja and immediately compensated for the sudden weight despite the startled gasp he loosed.

Compensated, Sasuke was pleased to discover, by grabbing his ass and hoisting him tighter before supporting their weight better against the wall once more. The cold wet tiles sent goosebumps along Sasuke's skin until Naruto moved slightly and the shower sprayed warm water down his neck and chest. Naruto ducked his head to lick up the droplets, and Uchiha let out a startled breath when Naruto teased a nipple at the exact time Sasuke became aware of his lover's heated arousal.

And then moaned when Naruto shifted to run a hot wet hand down his side and glanced across his stomach and down further to grip and tighten a little and glide and fuuuck, Sasuke pulled the idiot's mouth against his before he made any more sounds. Tongue and teeth, but it was always like that because when it came to Naruto, Sasuke just wanted it all now so there was never any soft or gentle.

But there was slow.

Naruto swallowed Sasuke's low long moan, his hand gliding firm but slow, thumb rubbing as Sasuke strained to move between the tiles and heat.

He had no idea it was going to be like this.

Had no idea that really letting Naruto do as he pleased would be this amazing.

And dimly he reminded himself that they hadn't even got to the actual sex yet.

But then, without changing the speed of his movements, Naruto was breathing in his ear.

"Sasuke...you want me to do this, right?"

Sasuke purposely misunderstood.

"Well, Uzumaki," he began, a little horrified by the huskiness of his voice as Naruto's hand never stopped moving. "If you don't do it right, you won't be getting another chance."

And likely Naruto could read underneath the underneath when he really wanted because with a flurry of movement, and a few bumps against the hall walls since it was hard to see where they were going when mouths refused to stray far, Sasuke was a sudden mess of sprawled arms and legs on their shared futon. He was _thisclose_ to complaining about his position and making the bedsheets damp...right up until Naruto's mouth was wrapped hotly around him, sucking and licking and he never remembered it feeling this fucking awesome.

And then Sasuke stiffened at the feel of fingers ghosting across lightly, despite knowing that if he was going to do this, Naruto's fingers were very much required.

Naruto paused, lips stroking against Sasuke's stomach as he spoke, eyes darkened as they stared at each other.

"Relax, Sasuke," then he grinned, tongue peeking out cheekily. "I'll do it right, I _promise_."

Sasuke picked up his scattered bravado and glared, letting the idiot know in no uncertain terms that he had bloody well better. And then felt his guard fall completely as Naruto touched him inside and out, staring at the ceiling and lifting his hips when Naruto's fingertips glanced over one particular spot over and over again.

Sasuke would have moaned, breathed, said something, but he couldn't find the air. And he was far too close to orgasm when he finally sucked in a fast loud breath and almost screamed out of pure fucking almost unbearable pleasure.

Naruto stilled immediately and Sasuke wished he could spontaneously combust to avoid any and all humiliation, and he still couldn't breathe properly. But then Naruto's sparkling eyes were right there and his hands were gripping Sasuke's hips.

It wasn't going to be soft or gentle, because it never was, but it would be slow.

"Relax, Sasuke," Naruto whispered again, and then pushed his hips forward.

Sasuke may have scratched Naruto's back in his effort to relax, but it went without saying that Naruto was a _tad_ bigger then his fingers. Just a _tad_.

But it didn't hurt any where near what Sasuke expected, and grudgingly admitted that perhaps Naruto did indeed know what he was doing.

Then his body was on fire in the way that slight pain could feel so good, because Naruto was moving inside him....and that thought had Sasuke tightening around his lover and breathing fast.

Naruto moaned a tangled version of Sasuke's name, sounding like sex and love like always. And like always Sasuke's whole body responded, thighs pulling Naruto closer and deeper, hips rocking and hands everywhere in a desperate effort to get Naruto to hit that-

"F-fuck."

Sasuke almost wished he had screamed rather than the stuttering breathless gasp that only just managed to float past his lips.

It was surprisingly hard to make any noise under such crushing pleasure.

And Naruto didn't stop moving, a breathy short laugh dampening Sasuke's ear.

"There, Sasuke?" he asked unnecessarily, a hand in Sasuke's hair and the other wedged between Sasuke and the futon as he continued to snap his hips at that. Delicious. Angle.

"Fuck you," Uchiha growled back, but he didn't have the air to get past 'fuck' and it was more like a whispered moan because Naruto was rocking deeper and faster.

It wasn't soft and gentle, because it never was. And right now Sasuke couldn't think of anything _worse_. He didn't even want slow.

He knew he was moaning Naruto's name over and over, something he hadn't done before, and was frankly amazed he could say anything at all with the way his heart was pounding and his blood on fire.

And that white-hot ecstasy rushing up to envelope and overflow.

Sasuke teetered on the edge for a moment before he came, biting his lover's shoulder so he didn't scream and legs holding Naruto still and deep as his whole body shook.

Not much could puncture Sasuke's pleasure except Naruto, Fucking and Amazing.

Naruto moaned a complaint but clearly fast forgot it as Sasuke trembled and gasped, spasming around Naruto to send him crashing over the edge after Sasuke, a long drawn out moan of his own muffled in his lover's sweaty hair.

Uchiha lay still, breathing heavy but slowing as he ignored the weight of Naruto in favour of marvelling at how close he felt to the idiot. Well, he supposed, one couldn't get much closer to someone than having them touch you inside.

And he felt embarrassingly warm and fuzzy because Naruto hadn't just touched him physically.

It was everything he had hoped and wanted and needed...and there was _no way_ he could tell Naruto that because Uchiha was grossly socially and emotionally retarded.

But he knew Naruto could read underneath the underneath when it really mattered.

"Hey, idiot," he whispered, flushing a little at the affection even he could hear. "You're only allowed to do that on days I call you an idiot."

Naruto pushed himself up on his elbows to look down at Sasuke with wide eyes, face glowing pink from sex.

"But...you call me an idiot practically every day. _Without fail_."

Sasuke grinned fondly and counted the seconds it took for Naruto to _get it_.

1.

2.

3.

4-

"...O-oh."

And he returned Sasuke's grin with much more enthusiasm and mischief.

"What about for how many times you call me an idiot too?"

"Hmph. Idiot."


End file.
